Anger counts
This flaming emotion is a normal response to injustice, deceit, loss, damage, trauma, or violation. To address the damage that has been done, we must recognise and respect this ferocious emotion. When we ignore or stifle our anger, we almost always end up causing more misery for ourselves. And when our fury is on fire, we end up hurting other people because we don't take the time to calm down, gain some perspective, and collect ourselves. Therefore, the next time you find yourself experiencing anger, the following are some actions you may take to approach the situation with curiosity and provoke a productive reaction.
Scan your body
The body will exhibit physical signs of anger. Take note if you are clenching your hands, tensing your jaw, becoming increasingly hot, or experiencing feelings in the abdominal region. You could also notice the need to fight or flee from the situation. Give yourself time and space to deal with whatever is on its way to you. It's essential to keep in mind that even though it could be unpleasant, no sensation lasts forever. Take note of how the outward expressions of rage naturally vary and transform with time. Note that our ideas frequently feed our anger; thus, it might be good to recognise when you're caught up in a flurry of thoughts and draw your attention back to the body when you feel angry.
Pay attention to the lessons
Anger is frequently accompanied by a feeling of immediacy. It's possible that you're thinking, "We need to find this out now!" Or "We need to settle the score right now!" While we are in the throes of powerful emotion, we must confront what has occurred. Nevertheless, our words and actions rarely produce the results we had hoped for when we are in this state. Therefore, the first thing necessary is to slow down and take care of yourself. If you are aware of tight areas of your body, then encourage relaxation in those areas. Put an ice pack on your neck if you feel your body temperature rising. If you feel the want to flee, give yourself permission to go away from the situation for a little while to gather your thoughts (you can always say something along the lines of "I need some time to process what just happened, and I'd like to come back to this tomorrow"). If you are withdrawing, you may not feel safe; if this is the case, give yourself permission to leave and engage in activities that will assist you in experiencing feelings of safety and connection (maybe reach out to a friend, meditate, or go spend some time in nature). Find a technique to channel your rage into productive activity if you want a fight (maybe go for a run, cook dinner, read a book, or play some video games).
Breathe deeply and slowly.
The feeling of rage is taxing and drains a lot of energy from us as individuals. A method that can help reset the nervous system is to breathe deeply and gently. Try taking at least five long, slow breaths to calm the mind and the body.
Be kind to yourself
The experience of anger is disorienting, unpleasant, and excruciating. Treat yourself with kindness. Placing one's hands over the chest and speaking reassuring words to oneself, such as "You don't deserve to be abused like this" or "That wasn't fair," can be pretty comforting. You might also try saying things to yourself like, "Wow! This is a lot of information to take in and organise. I'm sorry that things seem to be so difficult right now.
What’s lurking “behind the scenes”
In the previous suggestions, take as much time as you need to complete them. Once you've reached a point where you're feeling more at ease, it's time to analyse what else could be going on for you. Sometimes, anger can act as a shield for other sensations that are far more difficult to experience. This can be a useful function. For instance, many of us were never instructed on how to cope with feelings of disappointment. As a result, we frequently resort to rage to hide a more profound sense of sadness or sorrow. Exploring the depths of powerful feelings and the complexities of our experiences can help point us in the right direction for our future moves.
Respond, don’t react
An instantaneous reaction is shaped by one's experiences in the past and driven by their current feelings. It takes a little bit more time to formulate a response; it takes into account the current moment and is enabled by awareness and clarity. It is more probable for reactions to result in injury or in the emergence of sentiments of regret. The responses are deliberate and often consider everyone engaged as well as the potential implications. The intensity of our rage makes it challenging to see clearly and for us to feel like our feet are firmly planted on the ground. In most cases, it is beneficial to take some time to "sit with" your emotions and give yourself some room to feel the feelings and comprehend the broader picture. You can choose your response, allowing a more stable, peaceful, and compassionate environment. At this juncture, you have several alternatives available, including forgiving your partner, taking a break, standing up for yourself, having a difficult talk, establishing a boundary, leaving the relationship, ignoring them, and finding extra assistance.
Note: If your anger is causing you a lot of difficulty in your life, it may be helpful for you to reach out for assistance from a trusted friend or family member, a therapist, or a health practitioner to help you manage this powerful emotion. Keep in mind that we cannot function alone. The challenging parts of life are not designed for us to endure alone.
We all need a helping hand from time to time. Please share this post with as many people as possible. You never know who might need it.
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