Top Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to be aware of and control one's emotions. It is also the ability to identify and understand other people's emotions and to respond effectively to them. People with high emotional intelligence are able to build strong relationships, manage stress well, and handle difficult situations. They are also more likely to achieve their goals.

There are four key skills that make up emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and communication. People with high emotional intelligence are better able to control and manage their emotions. They're also better at recognizing and responding to the emotions of others. They're more likely to be successful in relationships and happier overall.

Real-world practice helps strengthen emotional skills. Training and feedback from an expert coach can help you recognise and manage your own and others' emotions. Everyone can better their lives. Mary believes she can be a better mom but doesn't know where to start. James wants to be more productive and effective at work. Linda is bored with her life despite her well-paying career. This chapter looks at strategies to improve your emotional intelligence to make a difference. Depending on your needs, some abilities may be more significant than others. Self-awareness is crucial to all others. To understand others' emotions, you must understand your own.

Meditation or mindfulness can increase emotional awareness (more about that in a future blog). These practices can help you become more aware of your body, feelings, and thoughts. Recording your sentiments at pre-set times will help you become more self-aware. By improving your emotional vocabulary, you can pay greater attention to your emotions. Also, describing your emotions' intensity on a 1-10 scale can help you to better understand your feelings. Better emotional awareness makes it easier to monitor and change them. Aaron is mad. He's so in tune with his emotions that he recognises when he's angry. His hitting 9 on his scale triggers many cues. First, he takes a break. When he hits 8, he psychologically and physically withdraws. It reminds him of his flaws. He hates the idea of being uncontrollable. Lastly, it reminds him of a time he lost his temper and hurt someone. That's a mistake he won't repeat. Think, feel, and believe freely. Knowing how to express emotions can help with the management. You can keep your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to yourself. This is hard and lonely. No one knows you, and you don't know others well. Humans want personal interactions with a few trusted people.

Conversely, you can share your innermost ideas, feelings, and beliefs with everyone. This is a mistake too. First, some people don't care about you. Second, people may find your disclosures disrespectful.

Be assertive. An assertion is conveying thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Basically, you must let the right individuals know where you stand. Lucy thinks Joe is nasty. She's too shy to tell him. She can't ignore him as a first cousin. It bothers her that she can't address his behaviour. She's queasy when she has to spend family time with him. Finally, she can approach him. Joe, I know you find racial jokes humorous. I find them offensive. And you make me uncomfortable," Lucy says. She feels relieved to be able to communicate without being combative. After all, she can tell him how she feels. Joe stops making insensitive jokes in Lucy’s company.

Day-to-day, everyone does what they must. But how many people love what they do? I meet many people who are stuck in their careers. But they weren't put there by magic. Opportunities or money usually lead people to their jobs. Few people do work they actually enjoy. Most people are passionate about some career, hobby, or interest, but it's not always obvious. You may know hungry artists who forgo careers to follow their dreams. You can find work you're passionate about with enough forethought. John is an engineer by training, but he swiftly rose to management. He's delighted with his pay yet bored by his job. He's managing people and projects well but is not interested in it. John played the trombone as a teen. He is in two community bands. His ambition is to leave his managerial job for creative part-time employment, even if he makes less money. He wants to pursue music full-time. Many people assume they're good at everything. Others underrate their skills. The ideal knows your strengths and shortcomings. Self-awareness helps you make life decisions. Using your muscles can help you achieve more in life. Pursuing your talents and passions, such as science, music, art, writing, public speaking, woodworking, or gardening, makes life richer and fuller. Overfocusing on weaknesses can prevent you from getting the most out of life unless they interfere. When deciding, you may get gut messages. Specific options feel nice, while others may make you sick. You can think of these sentiments as heart signals. People may not be conscious of their emotional knowledge. Sam is a coder. She's on her fourth coding gig. Her prior occupations were uninteresting, so she quit after a year. You may undoubtedly guess that Samantha will quit her fourth job soon. The individual and the business incur costs while applying for a job, training, and starting a project. Samantha chose to program because it came effortlessly. She doesn't love her job. Working with people makes her happy. She builds relationships well. Considering her strengths and passion for people, she may select sales or technical service.

Empathy is a trait shared by many successful politicians (Bill Clinton), philanthropists (Princess Diana), media personalities (Oprah), and community and corporate leaders. Increasing empathy can help you connect with others, acquire support, and diffuse tense situations. When you show someone you comprehend their perspective, you earn respect. You aren't self-centred. Focus on others to become more compassionate. Be a good listener. Listen to what they say and what they want. By listening to what others are saying, you become more sympathetic.

I don't enjoy this party, Bridgette tells Marcel. "You wanted to meet my buddies," Marcel says. She says, "Yes, but I'm bored." "Have another drink," Marcel suggests. Bridgette says no. Poor Marcel. He misses Bridgette's aim. She wants to pretend she prefers alone time. Not reading the clues well, Marcel thinks Bridgette doesn't like his pals. If he had paid more attention to what she said and how she said it, he could have proposed they spend another half-hour chatting and then go to her house. But he didn't know what he was missing. Feelings of others Managing others' emotions is an excellent skill. You may have seen leaders who can calm a mob. New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani handled the aftermath of 9/11 well emotionally. One of the rare lawmakers was always available to the media, funerals, and inquiries. He could calm people's fears even if no one had a solution. On the other hand, you've likely witnessed someone mismanage others' emotions. Think about how often an unprepared CEO faces the media during a crisis. By employing the wrong body language, tone of voice, or deflecting inquiries, these leaders made viewers more irritated. Just think of any politician and how they respond to scandal and you’ll understand how not to do it. Increase your empathy. You must feel the other person's sorrow, excitement, hopes, or worries.

A way is to ask questions. Inquire and observe to learn.

·         Does he like exercise?

·         What are his favourite teams and activities are

·         How does she eat?

·         How does she feel?

Respond to him as you would want to be responded to. Managing someone else's emotions is tricky. You must know where to lead the other person first. Want to make someone cheerful, peaceful, vigilant, or aware? After deciding how you want her to feel, you must guide her. Consider the last time you heard an inspiring speaker or saw a moving film. Impactful encounters require a build-up in which the speaker or director sets the emotional tone. You can create this build-up by setting a goal or letting someone know your plans. We must view this scenario calmly. As a family, we need to be conscious of what's happening. You can make your case through stories or instances. You need to show the other person that you're on the same side and that it's in your best interests. Consistent body posture, voice, and message can give a powerful message that can move the other person's emotions.

Managing your emotions, especially impulsiveness, is another pillar of emotional intelligence (together with awareness and management). Becoming more emotionally self-aware prepares you for emotional self-management.

You can manage impulses in three ways:

1.       Distract yourself when you notice an issue with impulse control.

2.       Count to ten

3.       Think of distracting thoughts.

You can train yourself to swiftly change the subject of your thoughts or a discussion to the weather, what you ate for breakfast, where you plan to travel next, a project, or anything else. When impetuous, stop and analyse your thoughts. You can ask yourself why you're thinking about a distressing situation or incident and how it will benefit you. Could I be thinking of something else? What's a better alternative?

Coping entails practising specific coping thoughts in preparation. These thoughts include I can regulate my thinking, I can slow down, and Let me think about it. I can think of alternatives and don't have to rush my response. Practising strategies like those can help you deal with stressful problems or events. You can't use these tactics ad hoc. Plan and practise to reduce impulsive thoughts, words, and actions. These strategies work for average impulsiveness

A well-run society needs rules and regulations. Problems can arise if you are trapped in a rut and refuse to adapt. By being excessively inflexible, you miss chances, lag behind in learning new skills and approaches, and cope with personal and business problems unproductive ways. Emotionally wise people know when to hold on and when to let go. High-EI folks can move on when it's time. If change is hard, consider the results. What happens if you don't change? If you go with the flow, where will you be? Change aids growth. You must be open to new experiences and possibilities throughout your life to find personal and professional fulfilment. Trying new things may be painful, but most individuals find the short-term discomfort worth the long-term gain. Part of maturing as a person is learning new skills, approaches, and connections.

Pete's been working for almost five years. He runs his territory by rote. His efficiency and capacity are known. Pete's company updates his equipment to a newer, more efficient type. Pete's opposed to change. He's stubborn and won't compromise. Pete's attitude doesn't fly in today's office. It's hard to find a workplace where things haven't changed. Being an obstacle to change won't get you rewards or promotions and can even get you fired.

On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? 5 or 7? A 9? Happy people have a high emotional IQ. And they're not just pleased because of luck. True happiness feels like a warm, constant light inside your body. Those who master this emotion wake up happy. And when they face problems during the day, they may remain happy. Happiness keeps their thoughts clear, preventing them from getting caught up in self-pity or other unhelpful emotions. Happy folks are more creative than sad or gloomy ones. Although unhappy individuals pay more attention to details, cheerful people accomplish more as emotions, pleasure, and melancholy vary. So you can manage your mood. Emotionally intelligent people know when to be pleased, sad, apprehensive, or vigilant.

Individuals like cheerful people. Joyful leaders have engaged followers. Joy has many benefits. You'll be more appreciated, able to handle challenging situations better, feel better, and be more helpful. Studies reveal happy people live longer (or miserable people die sooner). Miriam is usually cheerful. She has had a hard life. She has witnessed catastrophes. She lost her mother as a child, and her brother's handicap forced her to forsake activities and time with friends. But Miriam treats every day as a new chance. Bad feelings don't seem to linger with her for long. Miriam is a natural who repels negativity like Teflon. She always sees the bright side. Her joy is contagious. Others like her because she makes them happy.

Rarely do people know how to handle happiness. People connect happiness with monetary stuff or gifts from others. Happy people donate. Those who spread joy tend to be happy. While developing your emotional intelligence, remember that spreading happiness costs you nothing and gives you valuable rewards.